


Info For Sale

by writesstuff



Series: The Tiger Talk Cafe [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
Genre: AU, F/M, Post TYL arc, Swearing, XReader, reader - Freeform, tiger talk cafe, you - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-16
Updated: 2015-02-16
Packaged: 2018-03-13 08:32:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 3,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3374798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writesstuff/pseuds/writesstuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You drew a heart, a plus sign, and a crudely drawn stick figure with long hair and a sword for a hand with a few too many question marks while the informant prattled on with more gossip than actual information.</p><p>You're a freelance informant, though you prefer to side with the Vongola.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You pushed your hair back, called politely for another overly sweetened coffee and pushed the files around the low table. A shadow fell across you and you looked up, smiling at the pretty owner.

She smiled back and said, "I'm sorry, this spot is usually taken up by this time, so if any... _men_ come in and try to kick you out, it's in no way personal," she glanced towards the door, "and I will deal with it if that happens," she promised. 

You just grinned, thanked her for her words and the coffee, and continued scribbling on the files you had. 

"VOOOIIII!" You winced, but watched gleefully as the owner yelled at the loud mouthed assassin for disturbing her customers. He yelled back for maybe a minute before he noticed you and flipped her off. She threw a cup at his head, smirking when it hit its mark. 

You covered your mouth to keep from laughing your ass off. 

When he heavily sat down across from you, he grunted, "Bitch is spending too much time with Boss." 

You snickered and pushed the files to him. "I don't know. If you're the common factor, maybe it's not their problem," you hummed. 

"Fuck off," he flipped you off as well. He glared down at the file, "This is all of it?" 

You sipped your coffee, nodding. "Nothing else about him really matters. He's a two bit accountant who got caught up with the wrong family and you're being sent to send a reminder of who they're screwing with," you shrugged. After a moment of him reading, you have to add, "This place is awesome, how'd you find it?" 

Squalo clicked his tongue. "Boss' woman runs it," he jerked his head to the owner and rolled his eyes. "I've got to bring the others their daily intake of baked shit after this," he sniffed angrily. 

You snorted. "Daily?" 

"Swear she puts crack in everything," he grunted. 

You merely laughed but kept drinking your drink. The food was good enough for you to want another marshmallow cereal square.


	2. Chapter 2

You liked to stay informed. It was your job after all. You had informants, spies, and your own abilities in your arsenal, so it wasn't hard to keep up to date about everything. Including yourself.

You picked up the untraceable cell, dialled your most reliable source of information, let it ring 3 times, hung up, called once more and let it ring twice before hanging up again and waiting. The phone rang a moment later and a distorted voice said, _"Ah! Spier~! What a surprise!"_

You grinned to yourself. This informant always had amazing information, if not also being a huge gossip. You both always kept your voices distorted and you theoretically could record the conversations to get their voice back to normal, but you couldn't be arsed to do it. 

"Anything new on the [F/N] front?" You asked. 

_"Not yet, but if anything ever comes up, you'll be the first to know~"_

You relaxed a bit, nodded, and asked, "Any news on anything else?" 

_"Well~ Squalo Superbi has a potential love interest!"_

Despite your better judgement, your interest is piqued. "Oh? Who?" Whoever it was would have to have the patience of a saint. Or really bad hearing. Or both. 

_"That much is unknown as of now, I'm still trying to crack him."_ Your informant muttered. There was a sigh as they said, _"He's so stubborn."_

Your informant knew Squalo, which definitely narrowed the list. You shook your head to stop trying to piece it together. Out of sight, out of mind. You drew a heart, a plus sign, and a crudely drawn stick figure with long hair and a sword for a hand with a few too many question marks while the informant prattled on with more gossip than actual information. 

You made dinner while you talked, occasionally taking notes on blackmail material for people in other families. 

When they finished, they said a quick goodbye and hung up before you could say it back. 

You looked down at your notes and at your drawing with a snicker. "Good luck with that, Squalo," you muttered, pushing the papers away.


	3. Chapter 3

More information for another family, on a target. You were so bored, though! These men with their horrible disguises and bad accents meeting you for information was getting boring.

Thoughtfully, you pondered on a change in your informant M.O.  
Maybe an escort cover?

After paying for your drink, they left with a USB and a parting kiss to the cheek. 

"Ugh." You downed your drink and leaned against the bar. 

The bartender looked at you. "Rough night?" 

"More wondering where my career path got boring," you replied easily, taking the shot of tequila from him and downing it with some salt and biting into a lime wedge. 

"Ah," he handed you a glass of water at your request and walked away. 

There was a laugh behind you and a normal, "Voi!" 

You grinned and turned to Squalo, head tilted with an interested eyebrow raise. "Well, well, well, to what do I owe the pleasure of seeing you?" You asked, grinning at his small flush as he ordered a drink for himself. 

He pushed his hair out of his face and said, "Nothing. Boss' woman wanted to come dancing so he made us all come." He rolled his eyes at that and you looked around to find the various Varia members scattered around the club. 

"I see she's whipped all of you," you say, to which he started spluttering in protest. 

After you stopped watching him and took another drink, he said, "Shut up and dance with me." At your raised eyebrows, he added. "Boss wants one of us at a close radius to his lady, so no one tries anything while he's not with her. You're the only girl in here who I don't want to strangle within seconds." 

"Wow, really? High praise." You take his proffered hand nonetheless and let yourself be lead to the dance floor. 

As he pulled you close, his gloved prosthetic rested against the small of your back and his other gripped your hand tightly as you swayed. "I do have a request, other than the dance," he grunted. 

You're only slightly disappointed. "Of course; anything for you, Squalo," you said drily. 

He smirked, "There's a traitorous family that's been trying to mess with the Vongola. I need you to give them bad information if they ever request it." 

"Me? Bad information?" You're both intrigued and insulted that he'd ask you to sacrifice your integrity. 

"Just for this family." 

After he looked into your eyes, you sighed to yourself. "Fine." You wondered when you had gotten so weak. "Who?"


	4. Chapter 4

Staring down at the display of apples, you couldn't help but glare, "Sunday night grocery shopping, at its finest," you thought.

Your phone rang, the usual ring sequence for an informant but not for your personal cell. Answering it, you're cautious as you say, "Hello?" 

_"Ah, Spier~"_

It's Lussuria from the Varia and you can't help but smack your own forehead. 

"Of course." He tittered on the other end. "Lussuria. What a surprise!" 

_"Yes, I know dear, I wanted to keep this relationship purely professional, but this is a special circumstance."_

Letting out a low breath, you continue picking through the apples. "What is it?" 

_"Well, information about you, dear."_

You stop judging the apple in your hand and start looking around yourself. "What kind of information?" 

_"Ah, well, it seems someone has put a hit on you for bad information."_

Making a noise, you sigh and ask, "Sporco?" You were going to give Squalo a piece of your mind. 

_"Yes. Now, I don't want you to be alarmed, but they've asked the Varia, and as they_ are _an allied family, we couldn't_ ignore _them."_

"Ugh," you groan and go about your shopping. "So, what? Do I have to worry about Belphagor? Or Fran? Or Levi?" You make a face at a woman giving you an odd look. "Or is it you? Are you giving me some time to go 'hide out' while this family is being dealt with?" It wasn't particularly hard to hide out with the many identities you had in your back pocket, in case something like this ever happened. You were one of the best freelancers in the mafia after all. 

_"Ah, Squalo volunteered."_

"Oh, so I _will_ be able to yell at him a bit before I have to run," You dumped a couple of boxes of tea into your cart with little consideration to the flavours. 

_"If that would make you feel better."_

You can't help but snort. "Well, thanks, Lussuria," you pay for your food and haul it the two blocks to your apartment. 

By the time you got home, Squalo was already making himself at home on your couch, watching one of your recorded shows and laughing loudly. You almost pouted because you hadn't been able to watch the episode yet. "Hey..." He looked over at you briefly before turning back to the TV. "Want me to wait till this is over?" He shrugged and you nodded before going to your kitchen. 

"Oi!" You yell. He yelled back in question. "Want some..." you looked down at the tea in hand. "Peppermint tea?" 

He confirmed and you set to putting your food away while the water boiled. 

When you handed him his mug of tea, taking a sip of yours and sitting beside him, he grunted out a thanks and glanced at you. "I'm here to kill you and you got changed into your pajamas?" 

You shrugged. "Might as well go out in comfort," you replied easily, folding yourself up and watching the ending of the episode. 

When it ended and you both finished your tea, he stood and held up the sword. "So, how should we do this?" 

You looked at your nails thoughtfully. "Well, I'm completely defenceless, being in my pajamas like you pointed out, but the knock out drug should take effect soon, so you could always make a slash at me, cut my arm, and then collapse into unconsciousness as I go into hiding in Canada or something?" You suggested as you stood in front of him. 

"VOOOIII! Don't be stupid, you're going to the cafe!" He yelled, slurring the last bit as he fell forward. You caught him and put him on the couch before going to gather your things. 

When he woke up, you had your bag packed and looked at him with amusement clearly on your face. 

"I hate you." He rubbed his head and you handed him a glass of water. 

"Oi, you're the one who didn't think me, a spy, would do such a thing." You countered, smirking as he drank without thinking, "You're lucky you're pretty," you added. He glared at you. "Now, why should I go to the cafe when I can be equally safe in another country?" 

"As a favour," he grunted, stretching his muscles in his back. "You need a new couch." 

"Right, I'll put that on my checklist," you said with an eye roll. "What kind of favour?" 

"Xanxus' girlfriend can barely shoot a gun. Some dick is mad at Xanxus and he wants someone at the cafe 24-7 to protect her. You also will be provided some undercover work while you're there." 

"Ah~" you met the owner of the Tiger Talk a few times when going there to give a member of the Varia information. "Sure." 

"Like you had a choice." 

You rolled your eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

"I'm gonna kill them," she said as you tied the apron around your waist. You made an approving humming noise. "Not that I'm doubting your barista skills, or baking skills-."

"Which are top notch from my undercovers," you said, plating the cookies she brought out. 

"But this is ridiculous. My cafe is not a safe haven for Mafiosi," she said. 

"Yeah, I told them I could just go and live in, like, Canada until they deal with the family, but Squalo's all 'VOOOI! Don't be stupid, you're going to the cafe!'," you had to yell and she winced at the volume. You shrugged and continued, "Apparently there's a threat to you too? That's why I'm here?" 

She sighed, nodded, and said, "Some rival family is mad at Xanxus for killing one of their heirs or something, I don't know," she shrugged. You patted her shoulder as you passed her. "Can you defend us if someone comes?" She asked. 

"Oh yeah, totally. I'm a trained killer spy, we'll be all good." She didn't look convinced, and honestly, you didn't blame her. You didn't look like you were that good at fighting, but that was the appeal of your job. You had to be unassumingly cute. "Look, I've already armed your store in case anyone tried anything, so if anyone attacks, I'll have something to defend us in any part of this place." 

"What do you mean?" She asked, pulling you closer to the kitchen and away from the front counter. 

"Um, there's a gun under the counter right there. I've always got my boxes and ring on me, over there I switched out the lamp for a functioning shotgun-," 

"That's why it's not working?" She squeaked. 

"Even the mop has a blade hidden in the handle," you shrugged. 

She grabbed your shoulders and shook you. "Aren't you being excessive?" 

You waved her off and turned to greet a customer brightly. They softened immediately at your smile and ordered, before practically floating away. You grinned to yourself. 

"How are you doing that?" She asked, watching as customers continued the way the first one did. 

"I'm using my...skills as a person who..." You waved your hands about to figure out what you were trying to say. "I can't explain? It makes people feel safe and they just...feel like they could let their guard down?" You made a face as you thought and nodded. "It's a necessary skill when you're getting information out of people," you added. 

"Ah..." She looked thoughtful. "Could you teach me?" She asked. 

You grinned at her. "I can also teach you how to wield the broom and gun," you said, to which she tried denying you.


	6. Chapter 6

It took a month for the Vongola to dismantle the Sporco family and to put the fear of God into them about starting another family before it settled enough for you to get out of 'hiding'.

Not that you were particularly trying to hide. You were attacked four separate times, each time the would be assassins would be sent on their way with their tails between their legs. 

No one could get passed your Cloud flames, or your box Weasel, Spione. It was nice to know they underestimated you so much they'd send the weaker members. 

Squalo had been present at two of these times and had scolded you for being careless. 

The last time it had happened, he had grabbed you after you had left the assassin in a heap in the middle of the road and shook you lightly. "VOOOIII, if you'RE THAT EAGER TO DIE, DO IT WHEN YOU'RE NOT UNDER MY WATCH!" He yelled into your face. 

You cringed but then looked up at him with a grin. "Aw, you do care~" you teased. 

"IDIOT! I DO NOT!" 

You think the kiss he gave you undermined his words, though.


	7. Chapter 7

She was obviously trying not to laugh at you, or the damned hickie that you couldn't cover properly with makeup. "Shut up."

"I didn't say anything." She bit her lips together and closed her eyes as she looked away. 

It was silent for all of two seconds before you yelled, "HE'S A DAMNED SHARK!" 

She slowly crumbled into laughter, covering her face by burying it in her folded arms on the counter. 

You tried not laughing yourself but couldn't hold it in. "I threw the soap dish at him when I seen it this morning," you mumbled, causing her to laugh harder. 

It took a while for her to calm down, but when she did, she looked amused. "So, are you two...? You know...?" She giggled and covered her mouth. "I was going to mime something but thought better." 

You snorted and rolled your eyes. "I don't know," you frowned slightly. "Should I ask?" You crinkled your nose at her grin. "What would I say, though? Oh, Squ-chan, are we a couple now? Or is this hickie an 'I tapped that' mark? Or was that a one time thing?" You frowned deeply at a thought. "D'you think I'll have to reassure the Varia, if he's not wanting to be...with me? That I'll still give them good information? That should be a given, right? I'm a goddamned professional!" 

"You're overthinking this," she sang. 

"Yeah..." Making a noise, you hopped the counter and went to the back to help her bring the freshly baked goods to the front and to start packaging day olds. "What did you do with Xanxus?" 

She let out an awkward laugh, arranging the cups. "Um...you remember the Millefiore?" 

"Ugh, yeah?" 

"Well, I mean, they attacked me, and left me for dead." 

"Whaaaaaat?" 

"Yeah. Xanxus was there when I woke up in the hospital and then he kissed me?" 

"Wait, what? That's it?" 

She coughed and she was blushing. "Yeah." 

"That's the Varia Boss' big love story? His potential girlfriend got attacked and he kissed her after she woke up in a hospital? _Really_?" You were full of judgement. 

She giggled, looking down and nodding. "It sounds pathetic," she agreed. 

"I thought, being the leader of the like best assassination squad in the world, he'd have like sent you lavish gifts and stuff?" 

"Um...no." She shook her head. "He barely talked to me other than ordering his food for the first 2 months," she added with a grin. 

"Oh my, God. Stop talking. I've just got some fucking fodder to tease the great Xanxus about, this is too much for one person," you said, holding up your hands. 

She grinned at you.


	8. Chapter 8

"So, I was talking to-."

"Of course you were." 

"And she told me to be straight forward." 

He sighed and put the file onto the table between you, looking annoyed. "About?" 

"Last Saturday." 

He snorted and picked the file back up. "What about it?" 

"I just need a quick answer so I don't have to think about it anymore, alright?" You sat back, crossed your legs and stared at him. 

He smirked, "Thinking about it that much?" 

You glared. "Shut the fuck up," he laughed. "Was it a one time thing, or do you want to try this relationship stuff out?" 

He stared at you with a deadpan expression, sighed, and said, "I like you. I want to have sex with you again. Many agains. I don't want you dating other people. Only me. Yeah?" 

You looked away from him, staring at nothing in particular as you said, "Yeah, okay." After a moment you added, "Same about the dating thing. I'm not gonna stand a side chick. I will know, and I will kill you." 

He rolled his eyes. "Great, now tell me what the hell you mean by paranoid to the nth degree." 

"Oh, just means he's boobytrapped his whole house so be careful of those--look, I even detailed the ones outside so you can avoid the land mines and shit," you pointed at the file still on the table. 

"He put mines in his yard?" 

"Yeah?" 

"What about the damned brats that run around?" 

You shrugged. "If you freakin' read my report, you'd also see that the backyard is devoid of anything threatening except for some guards." 

"Right," he put the folders into his jacket and stood, "Tomorrow at 7, we're going for dinner. Sushi." He paused, "Semi-casual." 

You nodded, watching him leave. Once he was gone, you texted Lussuria and went to the counter, "I have a date~" you crowed. 

She just patted your head with a grin. "You didn't even have to go to Australia for 6 months!" 

"Yeah! Whatever that means!" You replied happily.


	9. Chapter 9

Months after you stopped 'working' at the cafe, you and Squalo were still doing well enough for two people who had gotten along with antagonistic barbs before anything else had developed.

"VOOOIIII!" You bashed your head on the overhanging pots in your kitchen at the yell. "Why'd you delete my recording?!" 

After blinking a couple times, you walked into the living room, holding your head. "You don't even live here!" 

"SO I CAN'T RECORD SHOWS?" 

"THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY?" 

"I'M HERE ALL THE TIME!" 

"THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU LIVE HERE!" 

"JUST ASK ME THEN!" 

"WHO'D WANT A LOUDMOUTH WHO CLOGS THE SHOWER DRAIN FOR A ROOMMATE?" 

"VOIII!" 

"FINE, DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH ME?" 

"NO!" 

You threw your hands up, "WHY DID YOU ASK ME TO ASK YOU, THEN?" 

"I DON'T KNOW!" 

You covered your face with one of your hands. "Oh my, God." 

The neighbours had called the police the first couple times of your yelling matches with a 'domestic dispute' but they quickly learned to ignore the yells. 

And that's how you knew he had integrated himself into your apartment and life. 

"Totally fucked," you grumbled but went back to the kitchen to make the tuna carpaccio you promised before he had left for a long mission.


End file.
